Frequently Asked Questions

When we learn experientially the skills presented in a G&L group, we feel more energy, pleasure, and the ability to face the inevitable frustrations of life. When we identify the situation as it is rather than how we want it to be, we choose actions, when possible, that are in accordance with our goals and values. At times, we choose to hold others accountable to their values, staying free of insisting that they change.

We increase our ability to be curious, compassionate and to trust our wisdom. We learn specific skill sets to welcome yet undo protective defenses, experiencing freedom from the suffering that defenses generate. We hone our ability to know our rhythm, give voice to our experience, and put forth that voice in a way that supports others to do the same.

We have ourselves as a resource, no matter the setting. In some contexts, our goal is to survive or endure, looking for an opportune time to exit. In other contexts, we can influence the surroundings in such a way that we and others benefit. Leadership --the action of leading a group of people or an organization – is not assigned only to the designated leader. Rather, it is available to anyone and anywhere. In G&L Groups, we learn together how to hold onto ourselves, making use of our resources to influence the group. We can then try on and discover how to make use of ourselves everywhere we go.

The core desired transformation is to separate projection from perception. We do this in G&L Groups where we establish shared reality between members, explore our emotional experience in relation to that reality, and note the contradictions between our beliefs (distorted projection) and data we collect (accurate perception). We develop and trust our ability to “see truth”. The presence of others working alongside us offers the maximum chance of developing this ability.

An application of this core learning is discerning between our dependence and independence on and from others. As we process events, we experience our impulses to depend on others AND to stand on our own. This gradually builds our capacity to lean on others when resourceful AND to hang onto ourselves when we take a stance that is different from others. We especially pay attention to dependence and independence in relation to the leader.

In established groups, plan to attend 4 months = 8 sessions. All members at times miss group sessions. Like a class at school, members pay for sessions whether they attend or not.

At times, introductory groups will be offered with a 2 session commitment. Please contact me if interested.

The pursuit of satisfaction in ourselves requires that we influence the system that we are a part of. When we have developed more resources within ourselves, we have more power to influence the system = leadership. We learn how to harness our resources by balancing our impulse to satisfy ourselves and our desire to contribute. In a G&L Group, we make explicit who has what resources so we can make use of all resources available.

We all have experienced the escalation of conflict that was, at the least, uncomfortable, and for some, terrifying. In G&L groups, we establish a norm of “getting” each other. We learn how to reflect, validate, and empathize with the member who has brought their voice into the group. This establishes at the outset a conflict resolution method, a group resource we can draw upon when conflict escalates.

We also have experienced “checking out” or getting irritated with the repetition created by others sharing the same old thing. In G&L groups, we bring in our voice in with curiosity to discover something about ourselves we do not yet know. We see if we have access to a feeling tone in this exploration which then fires up emotional resonance (= mirror neurons) of others.

Many of us have energy to get support for our primary relationship or marriage yet find that our partner does not. Situations vary: Partner’s primary focus is on work or providing for the family. Partner already attended couples sessions and does not want to continue. One or both partners recognize that it’s better for the partner with energy and ability to invest in personal development on behalf of themselves and the partnership.

The potential for changing the system is greater if both partners work together with support (couples work). However, even without your partner engaged in a practice, you can enhance your own satisfaction in your relationship by joining a group. You can learn what gets in your way of experiencing satisfaction. You can also learn how to influence the system to change (as opposed to trying to get your partner to change).

We can make use of a variety of relationships to grow ourselves. In G&L Groups, we learn perspectives and skills experientially together. We practice applying this to our lives. The learning resides in ourselves; wherever we go we bring ourselves, building confidence in our abilities as challenges arise.

The G&L Groups emerged from the interest and demand of the participants. If interested, feel free to inquire about what is possible for you or on behalf of others regardless of gender.

The G&L Groups are primarily experiential. We try on ways of viewing and see for ourselves how they help and how they don’t. The Consultation Groups have short lectures, followed by real or role plays that apply the theory learned. Members can peek at the behind-the-scenes thinking including alternate interventions with criteria for choices dependent upon context and goal. Consultation Groups are best for those who already have an active personal growth practice with support (ex: individual or group therapy, personal or professional growth training).

The Consultation Group sessions have recordings available only to participants. This allows members to review sessions to clarify learning and when absent.