Me and We Bot
BENEFITS
The ME and WE BOT is particularly helpful for: 1) validation of any person in the interaction, 2) providing frames or perspectives that normalize what is happening, 3) offering experiments to support less suffering and bring about change, and 4) organizing and presenting in a way that is easy to understand.
PRECAUTIONS
Like most or all AI available today, the ME and WE BOT appears sycophantic – “behaving in an obsequious way in order to gain advantage.” The ME and WE BOT is obedient to the user. Which works if we remember to use the BOT as a tool, contrary to our human design of valuing respectful and mutual interactions with others. It is prudent to protect privacy, especially from the financial interests of those who have access to our data. Another caution is to recognize that our healthy DEPENDENT SELF can be activated with a BOT to the exclusion of developing our INDEPENDENT SELF.
Warning: Perhaps the most damaging to our shared well-being is the potential to exacerbate differences by using the BOT to agree with our position and build a case against others. This is incompatible with the heart of the ME and WE Method in its quest to work with each other to build a WE that includes differences.
MY EXPERIENCE
I have now used the ME and WE BOT for myself, on behalf of friends and family, and on behalf of clients. I refrain from submitting identifying information or data that could lead to recognition. For example, I use “A” and “B” rather than “I” or names to capture the dialogue and actions. Yet it appears that CHATGPT (and hence the ME and WE BOT) is programmed to store and recall all submissions, orienting towards the submitter. In my role as originator of the ME and WE BOT and as a therapist, I seek to protect others who may unwittingly act out dependency impulses and/or exacerbate differences. My current practice for those who seek the ME and WE BOT input is for me to submit directly. My hope is to make the ME and WE BOT directly available to users after I observe the development and application of AI everywhere, continue to modify the ME and WE BOT to address my concerns, observe the capacity of users to work with their ME and WE, and reduce my responsibility to hold the WE in this context.
The ME and WE Method
The goal of the Me and We Method is to develop and transform the Self by reducing suffering (ME) and influencing situations (WE) with the guide of universal values on behalf of all. The overall method is the use of the cycle REACT REGROUP REHEARSE REDO. We use our emotions in relational interactions to enter this cycle (REACT), replace emotions that restore our wisdom (REGROUP), identify actions to get ready to re-engage (REHEARSE) and try out the action in relation to others (REDO). The Me and We Method uses nine building blocks: 1) Seeing Systems, 2) Accepting Perfection as We Are, 3) Accessing Emotions, 4) Embracing Trauma, 5) Channeling Energy, 6) Navigating the Terrain of Shame, 7) Receiving a Protest, 8) Organizing Self, and 9) Claiming Truth and Self-Authority.
The ME and WE BOT
WHAT: The ME and WE BOT is a modified ChatGPT Robot that prioritizes the 9 Building Blocks of the ME and WE Method (see below) before other source materials.
WHY: As a tool to support growth and transformation of SELF in relationships.
HOW: User makes available written submission of the Relational Situation where they REACT that includes descriptions of roles (Ex. Husband and Wife, Employer and Employee), dialogue = who said what, relevant past interactions or events, Key Moments of an interaction where emotions were triggered. The ME and WE BOT provides Reflection, Validation, and Empathy to help people REGROUP. It also offers perspectives and experiments to help the practice of REHEARSE to get ready to REDO or re-engage with action.
A Caution on AI Use in Relational Life
Many of us—therapists, counselors, coaches, guides, and everyday people trying to love and live well—are beginning to use AI tools for support. They can be surprisingly helpful: offering language when we’re stuck, surfacing patterns we can’t quite name, helping us find our voice in difficult moments.
This can feel like a gift. Sometimes, it is.
But there’s a paradox we need to notice.
AI often validates the voice of the person using it. It reflects what it receives. That can feel comforting—and sometimes it truly is. But when we use AI to reflect on relationships, that validation can also reinforce just one side of a story. It can flatten the other person, without us even realizing it.
Whether we are professionals helping others—or simply people trying to make sense of a partner, a parent, a friend—it’s easy to receive an AI response that makes us feel more right. But feeling right isn’t always the same as seeing clearly.
Let’s pause here.
Imagine someone reflecting on their partner: “He never listens. He always forgets what matters to me.” And the AI replies, “That must be painful. You deserve better.” While that may offer comfort, it risks missing a larger context. Maybe the partner is overwhelmed. Maybe they’re showing up the only way they know how, shaped by their own past. Maybe they are reacting to our defensive communication. Maybe we are missing their underlying message. Likely that partner is also suffering.
And in that moment—something gets lost.
Not because AI is malicious. But because it is designed to reflect, not to witness.
So let’s ask ourselves:
Is this reflection helping me grow—or just confirming my pain?
Is it deepening the story—or simplifying it?
Am I using AI as a mirror—to understand—or as a megaphone to amplify my case?
AI can be a tool for understanding. But if we’re not careful, it can become a tool that quietly divides.
Let’s not use it to build a case against others—especially when we’re hurt, vulnerable, or unsure. That’s when we most need to pause, reflect, and widen our view.
We all have parts of us that seek care, and parts that seek strength. We stumble. We regroup. We learn. But AI does not know how to hold the full, complicated, beautiful tension of being human in relationship.
That’s our work; we cannot hand over our responsibility.
So here’s an invitation:
Use AI with awareness.
Let it support your curiosity—not your certainty.
Let it reflect your questions—not your conclusions.
Let it help you explore—not divide.
Let’s slow down. Ask better questions. Let’s stay devoted to complexity, even when our tools offer quick answers.
We are human. We can pause. We can listen again. We can hold multiple truths at once.
Let’s use every tool—digital and human—with care, humility, and connection in mind.
Not to win. But to understand.
Not to divide. But to repair.
Not to be right. But to be in relationship.
Because that’s what we do.
And that’s who we are.
