A Caution on AI Use in Relational Life: Insight From a Therapist
Many of us—therapists, counselors, coaches, guides, and everyday people trying to love and live well—are beginning to use AI tools for support. They can be surprisingly helpful: offering language when we’re stuck, surfacing patterns we can’t quite name, helping us find our voice in difficult moments.
This can feel like a gift. Sometimes, it is.
But in relationship practice, there’s a paradox we need to notice.
AI often validates the voice of the person using it.
It reflects what it receives. That can feel comforting—and sometimes it truly is. But when we use AI to reflect on relationships, that validation can also reinforce just one side of a story. It can flatten the other person, without us even realizing it.
Whether we are professionals helping others—or simply people trying to make sense of a partner, a parent, a friend—it’s easy to receive an AI response that makes us feel more right. But feeling right isn’t always the same as seeing clearly.
Let’s pause here.
Imagine someone reflecting on their partner: “He never listens. He always forgets what matters to me.” And the AI replies, “That must be painful. You deserve better.” While that may offer comfort, it risks missing a larger context.
Maybe the partner is overwhelmed. Maybe they’re showing up the only way they know how. Shaped by their own past. Maybe they are reacting to our defensive communication. Maybe we are missing their underlying message. Likely that partner is also suffering.
And in that moment—something gets lost.
Not because AI is malicious. But because it is designed to reflect, not to witness.
So let’s ask ourselves:
Is this reflection helping me grow—or just confirming my pain?
Is it deepening the story—or simplifying it?
Am I using AI as a mirror—to understand—or as a megaphone to amplify my case?
When it comes to relationship practice, AI can be a tool for understanding. But if we’re not careful, it can become a tool that quietly divides.
Let’s not use it to build a case against others—especially when we’re hurt, vulnerable, or unsure. That’s when we most need to pause, reflect, and widen our view.
We all have parts of us that seek care, and parts that seek strength. Sometimes we stumble. We regroup. We learn. But AI does not know how to hold the full, complicated, beautiful tension of being human in relationship.
That’s our work; we cannot hand over our responsibility.
So here’s an invitation:
Use AI with awareness.
Let it support your curiosity—not your certainty.
Let it reflect your questions—not your conclusions.
Let it help you explore—not divide.
Let’s slow down. Ask better questions. Let’s stay devoted to complexity, even when our tools offer quick answers.
We’re human. We can pause. And we can listen again. We can hold multiple truths at once.
As a relationship therapist, I believe we should use every tool—digital and human—with care, humility, and connection in mind.
Not to win. But to understand.
Not to divide. But to repair.
Not to be right. But to be in relationship.
Because that’s what we do.
And that’s who we are.
If you’re looking for authentic, human support in your relational life, I would be honored to help. Reach out to my Berkeley therapy practice to learn more about how online groups can help you grow and thrive.
Get Authentic Support Through an Online Relationship Practice Group in Berkeley, CA
When relationships feel confusing or painful, it’s tempting to look for quick answers. Especially in an age where AI can offer instant insight. Yet meaningful change in relational life comes from lived experience, not shortcuts. The Me and We Relationship Practice group offers a grounded, human-centered way to work with complexity, helping you stay connected to yourself and others rather than outsourcing your inner work.
In the relationship practice group, offered through my online practice in Berkeley, CA, you learn to distinguish insight from embodiment. Together, we explore the deeper communication signals that live beneath defenses like complaints, certainty, or over-analysis, including the pull to let external tools think or feel for us.
Through experiential learning, shared reflection, and practical skill-building, the group supports you in reclaiming emotional wisdom, repairing relational ruptures, and developing discernment about when technology supports growth and when it quietly replaces it.
Here’s how to begin cultivating authentic connection and self-trust:
Explore whether the Me and We Relationship Practice group is right for you. Schedule a free 15-minute consultation to learn more.
Work with an experienced relationship therapist in Berkeley who supports you in accessing your emotional intelligence rather than bypassing it.
Learn to recognize your protective guards and replace reactive or outsourced responses with awareness and compassion. Build relationship skills that help you feel more present, whole, and alive in your relational life.
Other Services With Bonnie Macbride in Berkeley, CA
Developing real relationship skills requires more than information or advice. It calls for spaces where you can slow down, feel, and practice being in relationship with others. Relationship practice groups offer a grounded alternative to outsourcing insight, helping you build confidence in your own emotional intelligence and capacity to connect in authentic, human ways.
The Me and We Relationship Practice group provides a structured, collaborative setting where you can work experientially with the moments that matter most. Confusion, conflict, withdrawal, or longing. Rather than analyzing these moments from a distance, we go directly to the heart of the work: exploring familiar patterns, expressing your lived experience, and strengthening the emotional resilience needed for more satisfying and alive relationships. This practice supports discernment, presence, and trust in your own inner guidance.
Through my online California therapy practice, I offer several groups designed to support growth across different areas of life. The Me and We Relationship Practice group is open to all genders and serves as an entry point into the Me and We Method, with opportunities for ongoing participation as your practice deepens. For those seeking a more sustained and committed container, my Growth and Leadership groups (women only) offer continued exploration of self-authority, emotional presence, and relational influence. As a licensed online therapist in Berkeley, I support individuals in learning how to take responsibility for their happiness and thoughtfully shape their relational environments.
If you’re interested in engaging in growth-oriented group work, I invite you to schedule a free consultation. You can also explore my Me and We audio course, blog, and FAQ page for perspectives and tools that support self-awareness and deeper connection. Wherever you are on your journey, you don’t have to do this work alone. Join others who bring curiosity, commitment, and energy to building meaningful relationships.
About the Author
Dr. Bonnie Macbride, EdD, MFT, is a Northern California–based therapist with more than 25 years of experience leading relationship group practice and working with individuals and couples. Her work is shaped by her certification in Emotionally Focused Therapy, extensive training in Systems Centered Training, and her background as a former Professor of Counseling Psychology. As the creator of the Me and We Method, Bonnie brings a deeply experiential, human-centered approach that emphasizes real relational contact over quick fixes. Supporting clients in self-discovery, emotional leadership, and the capacity to influence relationships with intention and care.