Part III: Focus on REHEARSE in Relationship Practice
REHEARSE: We are ready to explore what to do. Note the word “explore,” which is not the same as the “right” thing to do. Or what we “should” do. Rather, in relationship practice, we are looking at options that we try on in advance. Often, by talking to others and to ourselves as we imagine having a conversation with those in the Situation when we reacted. Like trying on shoes to see if they fit before we walk outside.
The main tool we use in the relationship practice cycle is GOAL ACTION SITUATION (GAS). We need to fill up with GAS before taking ourselves back to the Situation.
At first glance, the GOAL seems easy. We want them to change. We didn’t like what they did. Seems reasonable that if they did something wrong, or not skillful or disrespectful, we should let them know so they will do something about it. They could simply use common sense to stop doing the thing that caused the trouble.
As a relationship therapist, I’ve noticed that sometimes, that’s all it takes. Let the person know. They change their behavior. We are all on our way.
Most repetitive situations where we react are not so easy. They don’t change their behavior after we let them know. We are now in BLAME. If only they would change, we would be ok. They are the problem.
What GOAL can we have that does not depend upon them changing?
We look at the SITUATION from a stance that welcomes the interaction and the other person(s) as Perfect as We Are. There is some good reason any of us do what we do. We respect others’ actions even when we don’t like them. Like the way we validate ourselves that we are not crazy for our own actions. From this stance of respect, we choose a reasonable GOAL.
Here are some examples we often explore through my online therapy practice in Berkeley:
Contain our voice.
We don’t say anything about what happened. Move on. Participate in shared activities or tasks. Without blame or harboring resentment or “nursing the wound” where we build a case against others. It happened. It will happen again. Regroup and enjoy. Take charge of our happiness.
Go on the record and Redirect.
Say what we remembered. Share what we didn’t like it. But oh well – don’t always like what others do. Have our voice and move on.
Seek to Repair.
Acknowledge the REACT moment and reach for connection. Accept that repetitive interactions happen and this is no exception.
Take a step towards Resolution.
Initiate conversation by taking turns with the goal of each voice expressed and gotten using Reflect, Validate, and Empathize. Know that Resolution most often happens over repeated interactions of Getting Each Other. There’s a difference between RESOLUTION and taking a step towards RESOLUTION. Can we enjoy a step forward? Can we enjoy the rainbow while seeking the pot of gold?
Clearly, the GOAL depends upon the SITUATION, especially the roles of each person in the SITUATION. Intimate partners? Workplace? Family event? The context or situation determines who we are and how we show up more than anything about our individual selves. Identifying our GOAL requires a clear and dispassionate assessment of the SITUATION.
We have arrived at a foundation principle for REHEARSE:
If we want to fill up with GAS, we need to accurately capture the SITUATION.
Takes relationship practice. Often, the hardest part of REHEARSE is to describe the SITUATION without blame (including our solution to the problem that we place in the other person).
One additional tip: If we find it hard (or impossible) to REGROUP before REHEARSE, we can go straight to REHEARSE. Sometimes, trying out options about what to say helps us activate CLAIM, COMPASSION, and CURIOSITY.
Discover New Ways of Relating Through Online Relationship Practice in Berkeley, CA
Insight alone doesn’t change relationships. Practice does. If you want to respond differently in the moments that matter, REHEARSE offers a way to slow things down, try new approaches, and build confidence before stepping back into real-life interactions. Me and We Relationship Practice gives you a place to experiment, refine, and strengthen new relational skills without pressure or judgment.
Through my online practice in Berkeley, CA, we work experientially to move beyond old habits. Exploring alternative responses, testing new language, and strengthening emotional presence so change becomes embodied. Not just understood.
Here’s how to begin building confidence through REHEARSE:
Explore whether the Me and We Relationship Practice group is right for you by scheduling a free 15-minute consultation.
Work with an experienced relationship therapist in Berkeley who helps you translate emotional insight into practiced, usable skills.
Learn to rehearse new responses with support, soften automatic defenses, and replace reactive communication with clarity, compassion, and relational confidence.
Other Online Services With Bonnie Macbride in Berkeley
Feeling empowered in your relationships comes from having a place to practice new ways of responding. Especially when emotions run high. The Me and We Relationship Practice group offers an online setting where you can build confidence, strengthen your voice, and learn how to stay connected to yourself while engaging with others more intentionally.
Within this structured, experiential group, you work directly with moments of activation and learn how to pause, orient, and choose your next step with greater awareness. Rather than being pulled into old cycles of reactivity, you practice steadying yourself, clarifying what matters, and rehearsing responses that reflect your values. Over time, this work supports emotional resilience, clearer communication, and a stronger sense of agency in your relationships.
Through my online California therapy practice, I offer multiple groups to support growth at different stages. The Me and We Relationship Practice group welcomes people of all genders and introduces the Me and We Method, with the opportunity for ongoing participation as skills deepen. For those wanting a more consistent and contained experience, my Growth and Leadership groups (women only) provide continued exploration of self-regulation, emotional presence, and relational leadership.
As a licensed online therapist in Berkeley, CA, I help individuals learn how to influence their relationships by taking responsibility for their inner experience. I also provide couples therapy to help partners abandon repetitive cycles while guiding them toward reconnection.
If you’re curious about group-based growth work, I invite you to schedule a free consultation. You can also explore my Me and We audio course, blog, AI Bot, and FAQ page for tools and insights that support empowerment, rehearsal, and relational clarity. Wherever you are on your path, you don’t have to do this work alone. Join others committed to practicing growth with intention and care.
About the Author
With over 25 years of experience, Dr. Bonnie Macbride, EdD, MFT, supports individuals, couples, and groups in engaging in relationship practice that leads to meaningful and sustainable change. As the creator of the Me and We Method, she offers an experiential approach that helps people work directly with real-life relational moments to build awareness, self-leadership, and practical communication skills. Her work is informed by extensive training in Systems Centered Training, certification in Emotionally Focused Therapy, and her background as a former Professor of Counseling Psychology, allowing her to blend theory with hands-on practice. Bonnie’s approach emphasizes responsibility, intention, and care. Guiding clients toward healthier, more empowered ways of relating.